tffnyblws:

thesharpestdildos:

what if you were in school and the entire cast of icarlys dead bodies just fell from the ceiling and all you heard was “rANdoOOoOM DANCigNGN”

WHAT THE FUCK ARE U EV EN TAL K IN G AB OUT

(Source: pilotstwentyone, via mayview-is-on-the-train)

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

hypergiants:

pulpofiction:

Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”

Then watch them crash and burn

"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."

"I don’t get it."

"What’s not to get."

"Why would she make you a sandwich?"

"Because… She’s a girl."

"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"

"I can make myself a sandwich."

"Cool, go make me one too."

[Smooth Criminal plays]

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

thechillgatsby:

thorsies:

IMPORTANT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST BECAUSE UR FRIEND’S PARENTS SEEM NICE WHEN YOU MEET THEM DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE NICE PEOPLE B/C YOU DO NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!!!!!!! 

SO IF FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT PARENTS ARE BEING CRUEL TO THEM AND HURTING THEM, DO NOT SAY “But they seem so nice! I doubt they mean it!” BECAUSE THAT IS AWFUL TO SAY TO THEM AND MAKES THEM NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN

THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

heatherbat:

smalltownbigguy:

in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful. 

the more mind-obliteratingly stupid we find you, the more descriptive we get. “bless your precious, sweet, mama-loving heart” means we’re not 100% certain how you possess enough intelligence to draw breath.

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

jaclcfrost:

the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really. whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what. what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

itsajensenthing:

Do you ever start watching an episode on your laptop

and then randomly pause it

and next you know you’re on tumblr

and suddenly it’s taken you 2 hours to watch a 40 minute episode

(Source: itsajensenthing, via mayview-is-on-the-train)

jynnne:

I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

aw yiss. got my old url back

Posted March 11, 2014 with 0 notes

(Source: fullhouseoutofcontext, via mayview-is-on-the-train)