hypergiants:

pulpofiction:

Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”

Then watch them crash and burn

"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."

"I don’t get it."

"What’s not to get."

"Why would she make you a sandwich?"

"Because… She’s a girl."

"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"

"I can make myself a sandwich."

"Cool, go make me one too."

[Smooth Criminal plays]

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

thechillgatsby:

thorsies:

IMPORTANT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST BECAUSE UR FRIEND’S PARENTS SEEM NICE WHEN YOU MEET THEM DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE NICE PEOPLE B/C YOU DO NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!!!!!!! 

SO IF FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT PARENTS ARE BEING CRUEL TO THEM AND HURTING THEM, DO NOT SAY “But they seem so nice! I doubt they mean it!” BECAUSE THAT IS AWFUL TO SAY TO THEM AND MAKES THEM NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN

THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

heatherbat:

smalltownbigguy:

in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful. 

the more mind-obliteratingly stupid we find you, the more descriptive we get. “bless your precious, sweet, mama-loving heart” means we’re not 100% certain how you possess enough intelligence to draw breath.

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

jaclcfrost:

the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really. whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what. what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

itsajensenthing:

Do you ever start watching an episode on your laptop

and then randomly pause it

and next you know you’re on tumblr

and suddenly it’s taken you 2 hours to watch a 40 minute episode

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

jynnne:

I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)

aw yiss. got my old url back

Posted March 11, 2014 with 0 notes

(Source: fullhouseoutofcontext, via mayview-is-on-the-train)

banish-the-muggles:

dragimal:

mistletease:

makeshipsnotwar:

eyeslikedust:

thefandomedson:

mage-thing-of-breath:

lodeman:

fairythoughtless:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

no you guys dont understand RAPUNZEL IS GERMAN FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF LETTUCE

I WOULD BE SAD IF PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS A TYPE OF LETTUCE BECAUSE THE STORY OF RAPUNZEL SHE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER LETTUCE.

no her name means never give up

NONONONOOOO!!!!!!!! IN THE ORIGINAL STORY RAPUNZEL’S MOM GETS CRAVINGS!!! WHEN SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SEES SOME RAPUNZEL, AND IS  LIKE “iF I DONT HAVE SO OF THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW, I WILL CHOKE SOMEONE!” WELL, OF COURSE THE FUCKING GARDEN BELONGS TO A WITCH, BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF A FAIRYTALE! sO, HER HUBBY SNEAKS OVER, AND GETS HER SOME.THEN, HE GETS CAUGHT, AND IN PUNISHMENT, HE HAS TO GIVE UP HIS BABY WHEN SHE’S BORN. sO THE WITCH LOCKS HER IN A TOWER, AND NAMES HER RAPUNZEL AFTER THE FUCKING LETTUCE. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU GET THE IDEA THAT HER NAME MEANS NEVER GIVE UP, BUT IT’S WRONG . FUCKITY BYE!

IT MEANS NE\/ER GI\/E UP.

Well her mother never did give up on that fucking lettuce did she

I WATCHED A CARTOON OF RAPUNZEL WHEN I WAS REALLY SMALL AND I’M 98% SURE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH LETTUCE

buT GUYS

what just happened

(Source: vogelbird, via mayview-is-on-the-train)

passion:

started from the bottom and i was somehow able to get lower

(via mayview-is-on-the-train)